Who cuts your hair? ...You'll like my guy. He's blah, blah, blah, blah. Here's his name and the shop where he works. Call him.
2 weeks later...
You haven't called him yet! Umph!
..........
I make good macaroni and cheese. I'll get you the recipe.
2 weeks later...
Did you make the mac and cheese yet? ... Why not? My recipe is gooood!
..........
Don't get your new car from THEM! I ordered mine from XYZ. You'll get a much better deal.
a month later...
Oh, you couldn't talk your husband into XYZ. Too bad.
..........
You help your kids with their homework. That's a no-no. Let'em do it by themselves. When mine were young, I told their teachers not to expect me to help. That's their job! (the teachers)
..........
(When my kids were little) It's time for them to do their own hair. So what if it doesn't look good. They'll learn.
..........
Those are a few of the numerous "suggestions" from Joan. Basically, I let most of it pass from one ear to the other, and out.
"Here she goes again," I'd think.
I couldn't figure out why it mattered so much to her about the color of my bedroom walls. I'd tell myself that she's trying to be helpful, even though she's being pushy.
Occasionally, she introduced me to something I actually liked, and I was thankful, however, mostly, I laughed it all off, until...
...she started on politics.
Admittedly, not my strength, nor my favorite topic, however, I would discuss the hot button issues with her for a limited amount of time when we'd see each other. Gradually, she became annoyed and frustrated with me. Her manipulative personality couldn't understand why I didn't feel exactly as she did. My intuition told me to table it. That annoyed her even more, and she decided to force me to talk.
And I did.
I sorta lit into her. Macaroni and cheese is one thing. My "freedom" as a human being and an American Citizen is another. My advice to her: don't mess with it.
Her feelings were hurt. I apologized for my aggression, but reiterated my stance on deciding what subjects I cared to discuss; along with the when, where, and how.
There were no make-up hugs. Flushed and angry is how I last saw her. She changed her schedule to avoid seeing me again.
tisk tisk
There's a fine line between helpfulness and manipulation.
Where do you draw the line at maintaining your independence?
Sorry about the extra line spaces. Can't get them out. Help. :)
