Whadduh Woman! Conquering Maggots

maggot – the legless, soft-bodied, wormlike larva of any of various flies of the order Diptera, often found in decaying matter (www.thefreedictionary.com)

Ugh!

Anyway, I’ve come in contact with these little creatures. My trash can is at the curb in front of my house after being emptied by the trash collectors. The lid is open; odd, but no big deal.

As I begin to pull it over to close it, my olfactory senses are punched with a hard blow. Simultaneously, my eyes are transmitting the disgusting sight of maggots to my brain, which instantly gives me the heebie jeebies.

The trash can has been smelling a few days, but the hectic pace of my life would always cause my thoughts to be elsewhere. For five seconds as I emptied trash into it, I just assumed the smell would leave when the contents left on trash day.

But…

“Gosh! Umph! Great!” I utter as I hesitate, prolonging the inevitable.

I’ve got to clean it.

I roll it up the driveway where a faucet and hose is near. I go into the house, get the Clorox, come back out, hose in some water, and pour in a little bleach.

I roll the can back to the curb, gently put it on its side, and then lift it from the bottom to form a tilt to empty the bleach maggot soup into the sewer drain.

The stench is still unbearable, exacerbated by the ninety-four degree weather.

Peeking in again, I notice a material stuck to the bottom, like thick wadded string. There’s also an orangey brown substance on the inside wall.

*sigh*

I’ve got to clean the whole can.

“Hmmm…”

I’m not sticking my arm in there!

Think Anita.

A broom.

I see two in the garage, and we hardly use them. (preferring the vacuum)

Back out again with my broom and dishwashing liquid. Hose in water and add soap; then swish, brush, swish. Back to curb. Empty.

String and unidentifiable substance still there.

Repeat process.

Stench has lessened.

I leave the can in the driveway, hoping the sun will cure it.

A few hours later…

Still stinky. After the trash is collected again, I’ll spray more bleach at the “substance,” even though I’m not sure if it is the culprit.

And, my days of not securing the lid with a bungee cord are over. Gotta keep our animal friends that live in our back yard wetlands, out of my trash can.

What have you done that qualifies for “Whadduh Woman?” (Translation: What a Woman!)