PDA

In case you don’t know, PDA is an abbreviation for Public Display of Affection; i.e. holding hands with someone, kissing, touching, rubbing, massaging, etc. in the presence of other people. I’ve seen various degrees of it my entire life, and have been a participant, too; albeit, minor. Darling Husband and I (pre children) could be seen holding hands or sitting very close to each other on someone’s sofa. Nowadays, a peck of a kiss on the lips to say hello or good-bye is the extent of our PDA.

Young people and the newly married seem to have a monopoly on PDA. While sitting in Starbucks during my summer vacation, a couple appearing to be in their twenties could hardly contain themselves while waiting in line to order. Arms wrapped around each other, bodies pressed together, big smiles and little giggles—it was a definite distraction to me and the other customers. Nothing bad, though; we all peeked, made our assumptions, and got back to our coffee.

However, in church, I am distracted by PDA a little more. Yes, I said church. Often, I see a husband with his arm resting on the back of the chair that his wife is sitting in, gently caressing her shoulder. Sometimes, she leans into him, her head on his body.

“How sweet,” I think.

Again, no big deal.

But one couple (that I used to see) took my mind off the pastor and his lesson longer than the typical five second distraction. Sitting only a few rows behind them, I had a clear view of the husband fingering through his wife’s corn silk hair as it fanned between his fingers and fell back in place. He’d add a little massage to her neck here and there, too, as she sat relaxed and still and attentive to what the pastor was teaching.

Or was she?

I’d find myself wondering if the hair play really felt good to her; that she didn’t care that others around her were surely noticing. Or, did she really want to tell her husband, “Leave my hair alone!” but too meek to interrupt his show.

(I don’t see them anymore. I wonder what happened to them.)

And then there is the massager—a man who rubs his wife’s back—a lot. He makes a circular motion as she leans slightly forward. Then he goes up to the neck and gives a little squeeze before resuming the circular motion—kind of like the kid waxing the car in The Karate Kid movie.

They are less distracting than the other couple was. Is it because they are older and heavier and have gray hair? In other words, he seems to be giving his wife comfort for a back issue, whereas the other couple appeared sensual.

And why does this take my attention from the pastor’s teaching on The Sermon on the Mount or some other encouraging or disciplinary message that I probably need to hear? What is it about PDA that gets a reaction out of us?

A letter to MissManners in the Washington Post expressed a woman’s annoyance with her brother-in-law’s constant PDA with his wife. She said she’s not “a prude,” but that the couple is driving her “bonkers.” And these people are in their late twenties and early thirties.

Like most situations in life, we all have our own way of responding. Public displays of affection aren’t major on my list of distractions; unless we’re talking about pure exhibitionists like the pimp man strolling down the street with two scantily clad prostitutes women on each of his arms that my family and I shared a sidewalk with while in Puerto Rico. On second thought, that wasn’t PDA; that was business.

Lately, I’ve noticed a few of my older/empty nest friends and neighbors holding hands while taking a leisurely walk. That goes into the “how sweet” category; hardly, the “get a room” category. Maybe Darling Husband and I will get back to it when we become empty nesters.

How do you feel about public displays of affection (PDA)?

image found here