Wednesday, October 14, 2015

We're Pregnant!


So I’m walking through my house with my cleaning caddy, having just finished the toilets. I call this routine Toilet Tuesday. My sick, out of school daughter is lying on the family room sofa watching Kathie Lee and Hoda, when I glance over to the TV and there’s this big phrase, “We’re Pregnant!” spread across the screen. Kathie Lee and Hoda are opining about Chrissy Teigen and John Legend’s impending life change, I guess… I’m not sure because my mind was, once again, thinking about how ridiculous this politically correct phrase is. My attempt to get a reaction from my fifteen year old daughter (Why do they say that? Your daddy wasn’t pregnant – I was!), who usually makes a joke or rolls her eyes when I say anything that could remotely be related to what she thinks of as feminism, was met with a brief look at me and silence, as if to say, “I’m not going there, Mommy.”

I know… you’re either thinking about your own opinion of, “We’re pregnant,” or you’re saying, “Here’s Anita again! Blogging out of the blue!” Yes, my last post was in January. Eventually, I’ll whine about why I haven’t posted lately or visited your blogs; but today, back to “We’re Pregnant.”

When did this start? Is it here to stay? Dictionary dot com defines pregnant as… well, you know what it says.

Why do I notice it? Am I annoyed by it? Why does it matter?  Will I evolve to the state of not noticing it and begin to say it, too? When my daughter marries and gets pregnant (in that order), maybe I’ll excitedly announce to my friends, “My daughter and her husband are pregnant!” Or, “They’re pregnant! I’m going to be a grandma!”

Where did this come from and who started it? A woman who wanted to give her husband or significant other more credit beyond being the fertilizer?  A man who needs more of a connection to the gestation period? I say, “Men, if you need more validation, brag on how much more house cleaning you’re doing because Your Wife is pregnant and needs help… only if you are cleaning more.”

I wonder who else has this fixation on semantics regarding this topic. After I post, I’ll head over to Google to find answers to my 10 questions.

Thoughts?

Congratulations Chrissy & John!

image found here


26 comments:

Susan Sharp said...

I have to agree with you Anita. My husband didn't even hold my hair back when I was throwing up during MY pregnancy. I'm glad you're back. I was just thinking about how I was missing your blogs.

JennyD said...

Anita , I agree that one party is pregnant , the female. The father could be expecting , I guess. That might be more appropriate as he is expecting something , his partner to have a baby .
I find the new trends for "the gender reveal" and the idea of the new mother getting a "push present " annoying , the later being offensive as well. I must just be old and out of step.

joeh said...

It's never bothered me before, now I hate it!

I thought were making an an announcement.

Tabor said...

I guess I am in the same camp as Joeh. It is an odd phrase whose time should end.

RAnn said...

LOL, "we" were expecting a child. "I" was the only one pregnant! I was the only one morning sick, I was the only one whose clothes didn't fit, I was the only one who had to pee all night.

Karen said...

First, you had me going with the title of this post -- I thought maybe it was the reason you've been absent for a while!

I agree with you. I always trip over saying, "they" are pregnant. I guess I think of it too literally. I mean, HE'S not the one with the bump! and everything that goes with it.

yonca said...

Hi Anita! Another extraordinary, uniqe topic again i enjoyed reading each sentences.I know about sympathetic pregnancy. Yes, pregnancy emotionally happens to everyone.. but, you are right, physically happens to a woman.. still not the same.

Abby said...

*pregnant pause before commenting*
Like joeh, I've found this usage annoying, but I can't stand it now that you got me thinking about it!
Welcome back! I sure hope you stick around, you always get me thinking :)

Cathy said...

Hell Anita - nice to see you writing again. I've missed you and your thought provoking posts. I'm another who wondered if being pregnant referred to you and immediately wondered (knowing your girls are not babies anymore) how you were coping.
Anyway, being of an older generation, have to say the word pregnant (rightly or wrongly) turns me off. Yes it might sound coy to say 'expecting' but to me it is a a gentler way of saying the same. And as for a man being in that position, well what a load of codwallop are they coming out with. Lol
It won't be until a male human is able to bear a child will they earn theright to say 'they are pregnant'
Take care
Cathy

bettyl-NZ said...

I think it's nice that the father wants to be a part of it, but, face it, how much can he really do?

Rob-bear said...

Pregnancy effects everyone in the family. Woman, man, kids especially. Friends and other relatives, not so much, but some.
"We're pregnant" made sense after I thought about it for a while.

ShadowRun300 said...

When I saw your title my first thought was, Oh... she's one of those people who says "we're pregnant". Then I thought, ohhh.... she's pregnant?? ohhh....
And now that I've let your post settle in, I must say I'm a bit relieved - on both accounts. :)
I can see saying "we're expecting", but not "we're pregnant". Makes me curious what my kids will say. After they get married of course.....

SuziCate said...

Funny thing is as much as "we're pregnant" annoys me I've found myself referring to couples the same way. Did I catch myself doing this? Not until my husband pointed it out several times, ha! I am taken back with all of these new ideas - gender reveal parties and professional photography shoots for everything (pregnancy announcement, every month of pregnancy, and then every month of baby's first year). I'm all for saving memories, but I somehow feel if we're recording every moment on camera (cell phone especially) we are somehow not living them. Yes, it's captured but what were you feeling honestly (Is the camera catching my good side?) And I must admit, I have no idea what a push present is, but I suppose the term is self explanatory.

Barb said...

Well, that was a catchy and heart-stopping title, Anita. I had to read your post before I even had my morning coffee. I think a family is "expecting" a baby but believe me, the woman is the only one pregnant! My husband was sweet and helpful, but the toilet bowl was all mine! It was a LONG time ago, but I still remember vividly (not to mention the birth) - in those days he waited in the hall. I've been thinking of you, wondering what's happening in your life. I imagine the girls are keeping you busy. Hope to see you back in blogland more often.

jiturajgor said...

So nice of you Anita for writing again.This one is really meaningful, I appreciate the title.

TexWisGirl said...

nice to see you again. and glad to hear the title of this post was an opinion piece and not necessarily a surprise of your own (or your daughter!) :) i liked how you put in 'in that order'. :)

Hilary said...

SO nice to see you blogging, Anita. You're the one who always asks the questions that make me want to answer.

Much like Barb said, I was thinking "we were expecting a child" but only *I* was pregnant. Expecting is a state of anticipation. Pregnancy is what it is, and it can only belong to the woman. Of course, if *we* had been impotent, *we* wouldn't be pregnant. But I might reconsider my stance. Ask me again when *we're* breastfeeding. ;)

Mage said...

Thanks so much for your notes and the blog entry. My thought was, "Is her daughter pregnant." Silly me.

Linda said...

Anita, I was so happy to see your kind comment on my blog post today! I have been thinking of you and am glad to see you back! Sending you a warm hug.

Peaches Ledwidge said...

I decided to check my blog today and then..., then I saw your title and made a mad dash to get a glimpse of your big belly.

You wrote: "Yes, my last post was in January." So you know you could have had a baby.

Back to the serious stuff, it's good to give thoughtful and caring fathers-to-be some recognition. Times have changed and some men do help out, others still need bootcamp to recognize that the title of being a father comes with responsibilites and not not only bragging rights.

Midlife Roadtripper said...

I'd like to say the phrase often went over my head, but no. It didn't. When I've heard it I always think "Oh, he's the one puking in the morning? Has no energy?" Oh, he's the one getting the exams? Oh, he's the one who has to endure the birth?" Oh, he's the one out looking for child care so I can go back to work?"

Oh, oh. Guess this hit a nerve with me.

So nice to see you posting here, Anita. I know how difficult is is to get back into the groove. Please do it again.

LL Cool Joe said...

I think it's quite cute. Ha. Kind of inclusive. Maybe what they are trying to say is that the guy is going to try to be more hands on and supportive as his wife goes through the pregnancy, and that it includes both of them?

Linda Hensley said...

I missed you! I agree with everybody above, pro and con, but I do think it's better to say they're expecting a baby. Now for your daughter's eye rolling about feminist topics, that's a real problem. The young'uns just don't seem to realize that the battle isn't over for equal, and "feminism" isn't a bad word. I think we need a better one though because maybe it would stop the eye rolling?

InSeason Mom Cynthia said...

It's great to have you back blogging! I always enjoy reading your posts. Count my vote for "they're/we're expecting a baby." Haven't embraced the PC term "we're pregnant" yet :)

connienaka.com said...

Hi Anita! Long time! I go to read your blog today and I about fell off my chair...lol. After reading it I thought...woah..ok. I agree with most everyone else here. And yes- times are a changing! Still loving Japan....

myletterstoemily said...

I have thought about this, too. On the one hand, the woman, clearly, is the only
pregnant person, but I kind of like the way husbands (my sons) take ownership
of the pregnancy. His body isn't changing, but whatever happens to her, should
affect him so deeply that he may feel a little pregnant himself. :)