“I’m glad I could experience a vaginal birth,” said Mary, after I told her my three girls were born by Caesarean section.
Mary and I were with three other women. Another conversation was going on, causing her comment to be unnoticed; plus another distraction prevented me from responding. We were heading to our different cars, so that was the end of that.
Or was it?
As I drove off, I reflected on what she said, taking me back to the days when my kids were infants and toddlers. The means by which our kids were born was major! The other moms and I discussed epidurals, home births, natural births, pushing, labor time, etc. The Academy Award of childbirth always went to the mom that had a home birth, all natural of course, with no tearing, and delivery within a few hours of the first labor pains. The runner-ups were those that had the same experience, but in a hospital. “Wow, Whada Woman!” the audience would rave.
The sympathy award, complete with “aawwww…” went to the mom who had a C-section. No questions were asked. It was assumed that it was a horrible experience. I always felt the need to tell everyone that I did not need drugs afterwards and that I was up walking within six hours or so after the birth. That was the way I competed.
It’s so nice to be beyond that!
I still like hearing childbirth stories, but now my focus is so much on being happy that I don’t have to have another baby! I don’t need a “vaginal experience” and I don’t “need a boy.” Too late anyway. ha ha
To mothers of young children who still find yourselves having the birth conversation often, that’s part of motherhood. My seventy-six year old mother still remembers and talks about what she went through to have my brother and me.
Whether your baby just popped out effortlessly, or caused you to not want to sit for days, or came via an incision in your uterus and belly, or was handed to you with adoption papers…trust me, you get over it if he or she didn't come to you the way you planned. You’re blessed to have her, him, or them.
I appreciate all birth/adoption stories: good, difficult, or in between. Tell me about yours.